Motok's Noodles
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MORE BNUUY was using him as excuse to study light. Are scooters punk?
Process:

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My partner made a rabbit/jackalope design of my sona and i had to scribble it >:3c specifically the giant girlfriend meme

Design on the right is by Scout.

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Mesosphere
Character Aello by Scout

uwuplasmiusuwu:

ymfingsteadilyon:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

tumbleaboutit:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

goliath-de-senfina-sango:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

uwuplasmiusuwu:

Me: Hi, this is Ebony at work; how can I help you today?

Customer: Oh wow

Me: Is everything alright?

Customer: Oh yes, it’s just that you’re so good at this, I thought you were a recording at first

Me, internally: Your, “most people only call me a robot *after* they know I’m Autistic,” joke is an inside thought until you can get to Tumblr; same with the, “script writer,” bit.

Me: Ha, can you tell I’ve been doing this for a while?

Asdfghjkl it happened again

It has been 0 days

Not only has it been 0 days, it has been 3 days in a row

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[image description: a screenshot of tags by tumblr user uwuplasmiusuwu that say the following: “#disabled humor #autistic culture #thank you whoever liked this so that I could find the post again #MY PHONE ETIQUETTE IS FLAWLESS #IM SO SMOOTH I DONT GOT FRICTION #WHY AM I FAILING THE TURRING TEST?!?!” /end ID]

Adding the tags from the last post in light of how many times I heard this on Friday, because I lost count

🎶There’s moooore🎶

Me: This is Ebony at—

Patient: Goddammit, why do they only have their fucking voicemail?!

Me, sensing bullshit: You’re trying to reach the *other* department, aren’t you?

Patient: *drops their phone and starts swearing*

So, as of last update, shenanigans have happened at least twice daily on average. I have decided that, if you’re gonna call my autistic ass out, you can listen to me wheeze while I crack up. That brings us to today’s overtime special:

Me: Hi, this is Ebony calling from your doctor’s office

Patient: *hits buttons*

Me: Hello? Are you still—

Patient: Oh my god!

Me, trying not to laugh: Nope, just Ebony.

Patient: I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I thought—

Patient: “To confirm your appointment, please press 1.”

After that, we both laughed so hard they hung up accidentally. 😂

This is wonderful. If more unknown people called me and I answered them I’d probably be trying to replicate this.

It. Keeps. Happening.

I have no choice but to break down in helpless laughter as I try to reassure people, “I’m not at all offended, this is just the [3rd to 14th] time today someone’s told me that.”

Someone give me the money to buy a decent mic and I’ll do the damn voice acting. 🤣

This used to happen to me all the time when my job involved phone work! I also once read the part of a voicemail machine in a script writing class, and everyone was very impressed how I got the timing right on the “you have one new message” bits.

Right? All it is is pattern recognition, and we already have to have scripts for everything anyway! 🤣

You know, I haven’t updated this post in ages, but I am still surprising folks all the time. Here are some recent highlights:

Me: Hi this is Ebony at—

Patient: My name is [redacted], date of birth [redacted], and my phone number is [redacted].

Me: Okay, could I have your address to sign into your chart?

Patient: *rattled it off*

Me: Great! Okay, what can I help you with today?

Patient: Make my doctor call me.

Me: Can I have a few more details? What problems are you having?

Patient: Ugh!

Patient: Speak to a representative.

Me:

Me, holding back tears: Friend…

Patient: NOOOO— *hangs up*

[I did call back, but I needed to laugh first]

____

Me: Thank you for choosing [Practice], and have a great day!

Patient: Aww, I was gonna say happy holidays.

Me: Oh, same to you.

Patient: Wait, that wasn’t a recording??

____

Patient: My date of birth is [tomorrow].

Me: Happy early birthday!

Patient: Huh.

Me: Something wrong?

Patient: Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but do you know what the Turing test is?

Me: Sir, I’m gonna be so honest with you. I am sitting on my hands because the urge to do a Siri bit is *strong*.

Patient: But that’d be fucking hilarious!

Me: Yes, but this is a doctor’s office. They wouldn’t want to ding me for being funny, but the quality team would have to.

Patient: Aww.

Me: Yeah…

See, you’re probably sticking too close to a generic script, with not enough memorable details to stick out as an individual. Try introducing yourself with your entire full name (unusual middle names would be a big plus here, perhaps with some non-standard apostrophes thrown in for effect) and a detailed description of your hair and eye color to help people picture you in their minds (again, unexpected similes and word choices are what you’re going for). You might want to add some humanizing details of your daily life as well, like a brief anecdote about an interaction with some students at your school that’ll help you get across your taste in music and general subculture. That way, you’ll turn any phone call into an immortal memory.

a two panel excerpt from an undertales fan comic where Sans annoys his brother with a haiku. in the top panel, Papyrus is drawn in typical cartoon fashion, squinting as he counts on his fingers. In the bottom panel, things shift to a more realistic style. You can clearly see the incandescent rage on his face as he realizes the betrayal.ALT

I want you to know that 1.) you are the first person to pull this and 2.) I need it framed on my wall.

@theshitpostcalligrapher I think this might peak your interest

amethystsoda:

With the announcement of the new US rail lines, it’s time to bring this back:

🚊🚄TRAINS🚆🚂

herpsandbirds:

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Brown-eared Pheasants (Crossoptilon mantchuricum), family Phasianidae, endemic to the mountain forests of central China

photograph by Lin hillside

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herpsandbirds:

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São Tomé Caecilian (Schistometopum thomense), family Dermophiidae, endemic to São Tomé and Ilhéu das Rolas (Africa)

photographs by m_burger

pkaykim:

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girlz